And what if we it let go
Control is a tricky thing isn't it. For some reasons it feels nice to have a sense of control, because you can know what to expect (sort of) you can have a sense that you can predict how things will turn out instead of the fuzzy unknown. Control makes us feel like we are in the drivers seat and can take credit for outcomes that we feel we had a hand in.
But what is at the root of control? If you think about the last time you really felt like you had a good grip on a situation, and could anticipate what would happen in the end based on your prediction. That likely worked well the first few times or maybe it's still working, but control has a tricky way of creeping in and showing you the opposite of what that is as well. Where even the best laid plans don't turn out like you
anticipated, or all of the cards are lined up, but then turns out they were really stacked against you, and you wonder if the universe is cheating.
At the root of control, you will find fear. That fear might have a different slant depending on who you talk too, but often it will look like fear of being controlled, fear of failure, fear over not being good enough. Maybe at some point you were mocked, shamed, belittled, teased or abandoned.
I'd like to introduce you to control's bed partner, perfection. If any feeling or word can set you up for a cycle of failure, striving, and never feeling good enough, perfection is it. Underneath perfection, you will find someone who substitutes perfection for love, or someone who adds all sorts of conditions to any positive or negative feeling. Someone who seeks out external approval in order to feel ok, or worthy or worse yet, won't give themselves internal approval until they are perfect. Creating a vicious cycle of never fully accepting themselves or what they do. Rules are highly connected to this subset as well. "If I just get good grades, maybe my parents will accept me." Or if I have a successful career, then I can finally accept myself. Makes your stomach turn doesn't it?
So I'm going to challenge you today, to look at the areas of control and perfection. I want you to look at how that is impacting you daily life, your career, your personal life, how you interact with others. Then after a nice external look at these areas, take a look inside to where these things began for you. Often times starts with a story or 'reasoning' we took on early in our lives. Perfection and control hardly ever serve a persons highest path. They are blocks in the road to being fully accepting of who you are, and fulfilled with what you do.
I personally struggle the most with perfection, and through my art and creations have come to be more accepting of the beauty in the things I make. And I feel braver and braver each time I share. And what gets reflected back is a super supportive network of friends and family who cheer me on to live a life that I never dreamed I could.
I promise on the other side of control and perfection you will find liberation, independence, and freedom and all of those things allow you to live the awesome life you came here to create. We are never in the business of staying small, taking steps to expand and fully be who you came here to be inspires everyone around you.
Thank you for reading, I hope you find something helpful.
If you need help with shifting aspects of control or perfection you might still be hanging onto, I'm happy to assist.
I conduct 1:1 intuitive healing work over the phone or Skype. I also offer intuitive art healing workshops in the Sioux Falls area. Contact me for more information at firstname.lastname@example.org