Oh man, this feels like a lofty topic doesn't it? So before we dive right into it, let's just get out there that I don't have all the answers, in fact a lot of times, I question the answers I think I do have. This morning I was tooling around with some of my art and thinking of different applications I could use them, and I had the idea to combine a couple of applications of what I love photography and painting. What you see above is a scanned photo and a painting, with an inspiring statement that came to me last minute. Then I realized that after I did all that work, that I should really write about it. But as soon as I sat down to do just that I thought. Oh crap, I don't know how I can back up that statement. Do we really have this ability? I mean, aren't we dealt some cards that can't be changed? Yeah, I think that part is true, we maybe don't control every aspect of our being, but there are some things we control, and some things we create.
Let me explain. Let's talk about variables we can control. Ever said this before? You make me so angry. Hmm, you mean, some one else took over your brain and emotions and inputted an anger feeling state? Wow, tell me who that is, I want to meet someone with that kind of power.
OK, that was sarcasm, I need to do that less, but what I'm trying to get at is that we control our feelings. People set up conditions around us, and we choose how to react. You can match directed anger and hostility or you can step back from the moment and not engage. Ask yourself what's really happening here? Why is this conversation bothering me? Is this a pattern I've seen over and over? Is it time for me to step outside and check if there is something within me that is triggering this? If it is, have I seen it before? Does it serve the outcome I'd prefer?
I'm going to give you a prime example. I have an almost teenage daughter. We get along 99% of the time and she is a sweet caring girl most days. Every once in a while she says something however, that sends my mind into a tizzy. Just last night we were headed to 'the Wal-Mart', and she made an always statement. You know the kind, they start out with extremes, like, you always say that, or you never let me..... Immediately my mind shifts to justifying my position. Crap, I engaged, and added fuel to the fire. My response back was, that's not true....to which her response was a louder...yes you do...and you can imagine how that went on for 5 more minutes. Well reflectively today, I look at what just happened there, and instead of engaging in an 'extreme' conversation to justify my stance on a situation. I should have stepped back, taken a breath, and thought about the outcome I was looking for. In retrospect, I might have chosen a non response, like, I'm not discussing this now or just not engaging.
OK that's the control issue, I choose to engage or not.
Let's talk about what we create.
Ever heard this post from Facebook where it narrates what a husband and wife are thinking? It starts out with the woman guessing about why the husband hasn't spoken to her for two days, and he's been so distant, it must be me, I asked him questions and I get one word answers, maybe he's found someone else...and on and on , the implication is her internal story has been going on for days about why her husband is so quiet. You then get a peak into what's been running through the husbands mind for two days. Motorcycle wont start...can't figure out how to fix it...something like that.
What you create comes from stories in your mind, so are they true stories? Or are they a repeat cycle of things you tell yourself? Are they even stories you originated or are they based on beliefs, fears or conditioning you've never taken a look at or payed attention to if they are really true.
Don't loose heart, the first part to shifting or changing 'what you want to create' starts with awareness. Do you even know or pay attention to the things going through your mind.
Do that this week. Next time you consciously recognize a repeat thought pattern, just stop and write it down, and ask some questions around it. Is it true? If I were a 3rd party observer, would they say this is happening or not? Where would it come from? Does it serve me?
Change your story. If it's not something that serves you, choose a different story. The mind is a powerful thing.
If you do all that and still can't shift things, click over to my Theta link, I can probably help you ;)